I don’t know why, but I follow Ashton Kutcher. I think it happened in a moment of weakness a couple years ago when I first signed up for Twitter and I was desperate for friends. I guess I figured Ashton was Twitter’s equivalent to MySpace’s Tom who was so desperate for friends he invented a whole social network. Or maybe I got caught up in the whole Kutcher vs. CNN thing…who would reach 1 million followers first? I’m not sure I helped either’s cause since I followed both. Or maybe I was curious about the guy Demi Moore dumped Bruce Willis for–I mean Willis is a stud!
But if i followed Ashton Kutcher because I wanted a friend I was sadly deceived. As of this morning Kutcher had 5,157,617 followers (I’m sure that number has doubled by now) but he only follows 571 people…and I’m not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Ashton is a busy guy working on his next Oscar-winning performance or Coolpix commercial but you’d think he’d have time to follow a lowly news anchor from Detroit.
Maybe this all wouldn’t be so painful if I felt I was getting something out of this one-side relationship but judging from his posts I’m not sure that’s the case. Here’s his latest: Time for some Futbol!!! If feels like south of the boarder day.
All the advice I read about Twitter suggests I should try to add value to my followers lives with my Tweets. Other than informing me that Ashton has a slight spelling problem I’m not sure how my life has been improved.
I’m sorry if I sound bitter… but this is all so painful in light of our past history. That’s right, Ashton and I used to be close. It was 2000…I was hosting a TV show in New York…Ashton was promoting his latest cinematic masterpiece “Dude Where’s My Car“. It was a time to remember, we laughed, we cried and in the five minutes we spent together before his promoter whisked him off to do Letterman I thought a connection had been made. I guess i was wrong. I’m not even in his top 571.
It turns out she’s only following 187 people. And I’m not one of them.