I’m sorry if I seem a little down today but the Internet is apparently over and I’m just finding out about it.
Maybe you missed the announcement too. Which is understandable seeing how it came via– you guessed it– the Internet. More specifically the news of the Internet’s apparent demise came from the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince who is apparently known as Prince again (at least that’s what it says on the Internet). He was quoted in an article in the “The Mirror“–a newspaper in the country formerly known as England. I find it a bit ironic that someone would announce the death of the Internet in a newspaper–I mean, who reads those anymore…except on line?
In fairness to TAFKATAFKAPWIAKAPA (the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince who is apparently known as Prince again)I am going to let him explain the death of the Internet in his own words:
“The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it. The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”
There, I hope that clears that up. Although your head may be so full of numbers that you just can’t comprehend what TAFKATAFKAPWIAKAPA is trying to tell you.
My friend Scott Monty, who knows a thing or two about the digital gadget formerly as the Internet suspects TAFKATAFKAPWIAKAPA has been partying like it’s 1999. Being a professional journalist I resist cheap puns like that. After careful examination of his quote I believe the on-again-off-again Prince is simply Delirious from too much time in his Little Red Corvette. I suspect what the erstwhile Prince is really saying is that the Internet is over for him.
I find my supporting clue in the fact that he’s releasing his new album entitled “20Ten” (obviously Prince is trying to avoid filling your head with numbers, which can’t be good for you) on CD only. And he’s only making it available to the hundreds of readers of the Mirror Newspaper, many of whom are young enough to actually remember when he was not formerly known as anything! Furthermore he’s removed (or at least tried) all his music from iTunes and YouTube and even shut down his own website— all of which seem kind of unnecessary given that the Internet is dead and all.
I hope this message reaches you before the Internet’s last dying gasp. If it doesn’t, I’ll try to republish it.
In the Mirror.